O Sammy, We Hardly Knew Ye.
I regret to inform our loyal readers that Samuel Gilbert Patrick Elio, faithful hamster and friend to Connor, passed away this morning. The cause of death has not been determined and Mr. Elio has elected not to have an autopsy performed, but witnesses report that Riley Katharine Regina Elio, 1, was seen two days prior to the incident, shaking the deceased's exercise ball while he was inside. Her parents were regretfully unable to reach her in time to prevent the shaking and local authorities suspect that Sammy may have sustained internal injuries.
Connor received the news of Sammy's passing with great sadness, but remained stoic and performed a heartfelt funeral and burial service, during which he eloquently stated, "Jesus, you can keep Sammy forever, because no matter where he is, he will always be my friend." Even the adults were crying after his eulogy.
Rory, unable to cope with his feelings of grief, took the news quite angrily and has only in recent moments begun to come to grips with the tragic event. Connor felt that he was the best person to gently break the news, and said, "Rory, I'm sorry to tell you, Sammy died." Rory replied, "You said a bad word! You don't say he DIED! Don't say Sammy DIED!" Connor replied philosophically, "Rory, let's just talk about DEAD. DEAD just means that, you know, even people don't live forever. God wants us all to die so we can live in Heaven." Yikes. Goth, here he comes.
Riley Kate seemed unaffected by Sammy's demise, and seemed oblivious to the suspicious glances cast her way.
Later, with great fanfare, Connor welcomed the newest member of the family, Gilbert Patrick Elio, named after his predecessor. Gilbert is a tan and white teddy bear hamster, the same breed as Hero-Chicken (Ror's hamster). Ror seems to feel a little threatened, having always been the undisputed owner of the fuzziest and biggest hamster in the house (Sammy was a Russian Dwarf). He spent alot of time in the playroom staring at Gilbert in his new exercise ball, saying that Hero-Chicken is bigger and faster. We'll be keeping a close eye on this situation to be sure there are no more reasons to suspect hamstercide from any of the Elio kids. For Connor's part, he's excited to have Gilbert, who we all admit is much more friendly and cuddly than Sammy was; we chose a teddy bear hamster this time because of how docile Hero-Chicken has always been in comparison to Sammy.
So, that's the way the cookie crumbles here at the Elio household today.
Oh Sammy boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling, from glen to glen, and down the mountainside...
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