A Theatrical Week
My kids have turned into regular patrons of the arts. Movie sets, Broadway shows, and, tomorrow, a movie premiere charity event for Rory.
On Sunday, we took the boys to see Tarzan on Broadway (one of their Christmas gifts from Katie) while Katie took the girls to the Central Park zoo, and, as fate would have it, onto the set of Spiderman 3. Katie knows people who know people, let’s just put it that way. Anyway, we knew ahead of time that all social norms for theater etiquette would be thrown out the window when we took Ror to see Tarzan—for days prior to the event, Ror began saying things like, “Even if they say, ‘Hey Rory, be quiet,’ I am still going to sing with Tarzan. I’m going to sing like this—SON OF MAN LOOK TO THE SKY, LIFT YOUR SPIRIT SET IT FREE! SOMEDAY YOU’LL WALK TALL WITH PRIDE, SON OF MAN, A MAN IN TIME YOU’LL BE!!!” So we knew that he had no plans to sit quietly. His commentary, if inappropriate, was hilarious. During the scene where the baby Tarzan, through some lovely stage magic, becomes the young boy Tarzan, Ror just started explaining it to himself and others: “Oh, I see, he growed up now. See that, Mommy? Tarzan isn’t a baby; he growed up. They made him grow up. LOOK AT THAT MONKEY! See the MONKEY?” After much shushing and cajoling, he’d just get settled down again, and then, “Oh my GOSHIOUS! Did you see the leopard? He’s the BAD GUY! That is the BAD GUY of this show! He eated that baby monkey!” Just before the end of the first act, there is a big number, clearly inserted to keep the attention of the little girls in the audience. Jane is walking through the jungle and singing about all the flowers that are blooming, and as she names each one, it comes to life. This could not have been more mind-numbingly boring to Rory, so throughout the song, he’d ask questions loudly, in an exasperated tone. “So, uh, is there gonna be a bad guy in this part or WHAT?!?” “You think that flower is gonna kick her?” “Maybe she’s gonna get stuck in that tree! Ooooh, she’s gonna get REALLY STUCK!” Connor behaved like the perfect gentleman until the artificiality of the theatrical atmosphere began to gnaw at him. Finally he turned to Chris and said loudly, “Dad, I don’t think that’s even the real Tarzan. Is it? Is that REALLY Tarzan?”
After the show, we met Katie and the girls outside the theater, whereupon Connor learned of their travels and began lamenting, “I can’t BELIEVE you went to the Spiderman movie set! I can’t believe this!” When we tried to point out that he had been seeing his first Broadway show and therefore had not exactly missed out entirely, his complaining went on unabated, so we took them back to the set. We thought it would be the perfect opportunity to explain the ins and outs of reality versus fiction, but Connor wasn’t really ready for it:
Colleen: So this is where the actors are filming the movie.
Connor: You mean, this is where Spidey was.
Colleen: I mean, this is where they made the movie.
Connor: You mean, this is where they taped Spiderman saving the people.
Colleen: Um, okay, look up there; that’s the wire that they flew him across on.
Connor: I think that’s a web that he shot out of his wrist.
Colleen: No, that’s a wire that they used to….Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s a web.
Tomorrow, Ror will be going on a big date night with Kate, a glittering soiree where he will be rubbing shoulders with celebs and their kids for the New York premiere of Cars, the Disney movie, to benefit the Hole in the Wall Camps Foundation. In Connor’s words, “I am so ashamed of Katie, that she is taking Rory to this and not me.” Yikes.
This morning, Riley Katie sat sweetly with me while we listened to Chris’s radio show, for about two minutes, and then she got bored and walked away. She then returned at 5 minute intervals saying, “Where did Daddy goed? He still on the radio?” over and over again. So it IS a novelty; just not enough to warrant interrupting her busy day.
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